Ferocious is an 18+ supernatural and post apocalyptic RP based in the city-state of New Greenwich, Oregon with a rating of 3/3/3. Please register an OOC account then a character account, before applying. The Cbox is guest-friendly, so please feel free to ask any questions!
But I am just a broken machine,
And I do things that I don't really mean
FULL NAME: Benjamin James Honee NICKNAME: Ben, Benji, BJ... GENDER: Male DATE OF BIRTH: October 23rd, 1965 AGE: 305 (Appears Late-Thirties) HOMETOWN: Logan County, West Virginia OCCUPATION: Security Programmer ORGANIZATION: Calpulli SPECIES: Vampire HEIGHT: 5'10" WEIGHT: 140lbs HAIR COLOR: Black EYE COLOR: Green TATTOOS: N/A SCARS: Old self harm scars along his forearms and inner thighs, restraint marks on his wrists< FACE CLAIM: Josh Tillman
PARENTS: mother, Loretta Honee father, Hank Honee SIBLINGS:Sarah Jo Mary Beth Evelyn Lee Enid Mae Jaysanna Marie Garrett Jacob, twin OTHER FAMILY: Like...so many PETS:N/A
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single SIGNIFICANT OTHER: N/A
Ben sounds for all intents and purposes like a grand old misanthrope. He generally dislikes the majority of the teaming masses that prattle on endlessly about things that don't matter like they do matter. (They don't) He can go either way with a person, but put him with people and he can feel nothing but pure vitriol surging through his body at the idea of having to deal with a group of humanity. Even still he's a man who'd much rather deal with animals, sentient machines or even some forms of self aware biomass then he would any of his own species for any extended period of time.
This in part comes from feeling utterly isolated. He often feels trapped, stuck in a constant rut of being somewhere that is too small for himself in a world that is so big. Ben is a prisoner of his own mind and its been that way long time before he had ever been embraced. He's often lonely, but his own behavior keeps him from making lasting connections with people, he's good at alienating those around him. In fact he's become quite good at using expectations of his condition to his advantage- no one wants to spend time with the schizo after all. Sure he has his ticks, and his bad days. Something that he's incredibly self conscious about...certainly he tries to laugh it off, but it makes him feel less than human most of the time, which has caused him over the years to distance himself from others, though which came first...his feelings towards others or his run in with a tough crowd is really something of a chicken or the egg debate.
He watches people more than he speaks to them, usually more baffled by their behavior than they are by his- observation gives him quite a bit of insight in how they do things even though he doesn't get it... It's all a bit like programming to him, he gets what makes it work, but not how it works. The rest is just trial and error until things fall into the right places. In that way there is very little difference between a person and a machine to him. They're both faulty but in some inexplicable way it all makes a cohesive structure.
But in the end when forced to interact, he's a amiable Misanthropy or no. When he finds someone willing to spend time with him and forgive his eccentricities- that he actually can trust, Ben is loyal to a fault, doting towards those he cares for with an affection that seems abnormal to those who would only know him in passing. Even among those that he's not so so fond with he's patient with them to the point of being exasperating, he seemingly forgives any slight against him, for better or for worse.
Patient to a fault and quick to forgive and forget, he's not exactly the type who takes being tested with grace. Other then being aggressively passive rather then passive aggressive. There's just something absolutely wrong with the way he conducts himself. No matter how hard he tries, Ben is just abrasive, he's loud, his word choices are terrible...his sense of humor is crass- but typically he directs it more towards himself than others, but he doesn't always have a handle on what he's really doing. Which makes him sound a bit like he's always on the verge of ranting and raving at the slightest provocation. Really his attitude is like giving a toddler a bazooka, potent but like hell if he's got any direction with it.
Though particularly technologically capable and particularly gifted (though a bit out of practice)...Ben is a Luddite when left to his own devices, just because he is good with the advances of a new era doesn't mean he likes them, in fact he's particularly certain he can't even trust them while he spouts some rehearsed diatribe that he's read enough sci-Fi to know how the world will end (again) the real hangup is that in the end, it was his skill with technology that killed him- and he loathes the reminder. Most everything he owns is analog to some extent, he prefers books to files, and paper and pen over a word processor, never mind his hatred of digital reading clocks...in fact its almost like pulling teeth to get him in front of anything mechanical without bribing him to some extent.
Nice as he seems Ben's moral compass is somewhat broken, it's surprising what he can an cannot do. Ambivalent to the point of nearly being painful it seems that he's highly over moral at one point, and absolutely amoral the next. He knows he's a monster- sometimes embracing the creature he's become with ruthless abandon. After all, his work is all he's good for for most. Before that he was utterly a worthless waste of space, and he does little to confirm or deny the constant feelings of doubt he has about his person. So many people real and perceived say he's a terrible person, he believes it, hell he embraces it. He says he can always ignore his conscience.
Art is his only solace, and even that is starting to less and less give him peace of mind.
People, animals of all varieties (especially pigeons), various mixed media art, cross stitch, reading, people watching, roaming/exploring, collecting things that catch his eye (this varies but mostly it's crap he finds), being catty at art shows or just in general, keeping up on tech trends but being terrified to try them, cigarettes
People, being moist/sticky/dusty and otherwise uncomfortably unclean, things in his peripheral vision, loud noises, dim noises, weird smells, unidentified noises, himself mostly, things changing and him not changing, being at anothers' beck and call (never has that not been the case), and really this list could go on forever...
If you asked Ben, the difference between his early years and the present could almost be considered a different life then the one he grew accustomed to. One he was vaguely ashamed of- The son of a coal miner and the youngest in a family of seven siblings, he grew up in the mountains of West Virginia in a ratty tar paper shack without electricity or running water, just nothing but mostly fallow farm land being worked to death as far as the eye could see. Surrounded by cousins, nieces and nephews- there wasn't much peace to be had....
With his parents constantly busy keeping the homestead together, and his older louder siblings taking up the bulk of attention, Ben was happy to fade into the wallpaper it allowed him to indulge in behavior his highly conservative father particularly frowned upon...a quiet bookish child, he filled his home schooled life with information that his vastly lacking education didn't give him- he gobbled up everything, papers, magazines anything of print didn't escape his hungry mind-he especially loved information about technology...or the rare Science Fiction book that passed through his hands. He often dreamt of something bigger than his small life; through out his young life, Ben's time outside home was the three times a week he dressed up and went to church.
As Ben grew older, his behavior went from shy to something more erratic, always considered a bit off, it came apparent that by the time he hit puberty that he was more than a bit disturbed, he had grown wild and often inconsolable, prone to fits and accusations. While his parents wondered what happened...what went wrong, Benjamin ended up going to church more and more in hopes of praying the 'demons' out of him. It took some convincing by the minister himself to get the boy any real assistance.
By the time he was considered an adult, Ben found himself on a cocktail of medications that suppressed most, if not all of his symptoms- as well as the majority of his ability to feel. But he knew he wasn't happy, he couldn't stay out in the middle of nowhere forever...his world was too small, he felt like he was suffocating, so without saying much of anything, he packed his bags and left westward, taking a bus to California to the budding Silicon Valley of San Jose, a far cry from the poverty stricken hayseed world he lived in before.
He got lost in the big city but he never looked back, one of the best things for him was being accepted into Stanford before having to give up and go on home, though not the smartest student, or the richest...Ben paid his way through school as a research assistant, never one to have a good time or any fun as he tore tooth and nail to get anywhere with with his life, by the time he graduated, all there was left was to take that momentum and keep going- with what money he could get from the government, he moved to , taking a dive as he accepted a masters program through Berkeley.
The work load was a lot lighter, and Ben found he could breathe better. Gun to his head and forced to admit it, at the time, it was probably the happiest moments of his life. He had a friend, and sure while they did nothing of any important other then be foul college students- it was nice, it made him feel a bit like a human being. The two smoked their share of trees and slacked their way towards diplomas...as expected, because by the time Ben graduated again it was simply one of those things that felt so inevitable.
Sort of like creating his own startup company afterwards, so while his roomie moved out, Ben focused in on making a name for himself as a security programmer- at first in the height of the Dot.Com Boom he did well for himself. Of course, then the Dot.Com Burst followed suit in less then a year, and with it...went Ben's livelihood and that facade of normalcy he had spent years upon years building up to keep himself safe from his own mind. With everything going wrong around him, he could only see other things wrong, it built up as the bills started to stack up. Ben found himself bankrupt and in a tailspin.
Maybe that's why he started letting the calls from his therapist go to voice mail. Why when he was down to two pills, one pill, and he simply didn't get his prescription refilled.
While he could survive himself at work that routine was gone. His home life was rapt with fear...uncertainty and ugly voices, notions that he was certain weren't quite his. He did what he could to keep his mind occupied, taking up hobbies fill his time. First was reading, he used to love that, but even then the stillness made his senses more alert. He was at a loss of what to do with himself, until he found an old book his therapist gave him on art therapy. At the time, he thought it was a joke...but as a man trying to self medicate, he was open...
Ben was less interested about how talented he was, but rather more about how delighted he was- covering the walls in his seedy apartment seemed to quiet the judgmental looks he seemingly got from his barren walls, it soothed him...he had a bit of control in his life, and as much as he revered the stillness of a job well done- it was empowering to do something for himself. From there on out the programmer couldn't be seen without doodling something somewhere, a constant flurry of creativity. Hiding his work between resumes and unemployment papers.
It was a damn shame that someone found one of those things very enticing among the ranks of the ranks of Sundown Holdings- a vampire shell company in California, but not because of anything related to his relative skill as a programmer. Cynthia was a vampire with an eye for things she could use, and Ben's psyche profile was just what she was looking for. She hired him just because she wanted another complacent and easily manipulated goon...and she and her flunkie made quick work of him to change him into one of the truly damned undead.
Her requirements were succinct and terrible, he'd do whatever she wanted, whenever she called on him, no questions asked, no deed too messy. For that, she'd be well kept and she'd make sure that their shared boss didn't put him to a final death. Ben dully went along with the new status quo, his corroding mind and grisly career making his art even darker. At least the grisly work gave him no lack of medium for the change in his tone. He kept himself holed up in the home that torture built, until the insides matched the thoughts of the thing that lived in it...too much of a coward to do the right thing.
That was, until the Queen Bitch herself, finally got whatever divine retribution she justly deserved- finally over stepping her boundaries enough to catch her skimming off the top of company funds and using him to do it, from the system to dealing with anything that had gotten in the way in a more physical sense. With a gout of evidence, he threatened to expose her to the master of the city, his sire relented only because of her own fear of the situation, but not without it's own caveats...Ben couldn't go back to LA unless he wanted to greet sun.
He was free, or so he thought, he escaped south down to the Baja in hopes of escaping Cynthia's wrath, and found Mexico's lack of vampires somewhat refreshing, he hardly had to play the politics game but Ben never had the knack of learning the writing on the wall, and one by one...other locals up and disappeared, no real say why, until one day Ben found out himself...black bagged in some black ops situation that defied logic even to his illogical mind.
The years spent in Ridley Labs were hell. A young fledgling trained to be subservient as Ben had was an ideal test subject for experimentation, and he found it kind of funny the irony that a former trained butcher like himself was being taken apart piece by piece. But he stubbornly held on, biding his time...for twenty years he suffered and festered mind growing darker and grimmer with every passing decade. He had promised himself he wouldn't die on the vivisection table and when the extraction team came in to release the subjects.
Ben spent the next couple of centuries with his head down, paying lip service as needed to the local authorities and trying to dodge wars and subsequent fallout...which was a feat in and of itself. He moved back up the west coast, paying his way in his worth at dealing with problems for others, and he took no pleasure in it. But he made a name for himself in the wrong sorts of circles, so when he ended up in New Greenwich a few years earlier, he fell naturally into doing the same within the last year he was picked up by Quetzala for her mafia. Ben just laughs, call it whatever you'd like, but it's just the same shit, different day and he's still left wondering what it would feel like to be truly free, and assuming that he probably never would be. But still, he has his art.
Ben is a man of many acquaintances some closer then most but he has few friends. Chalk it up to him being generally abrasive and first impressions being very hard to do over. He's shady, coarse and just just the type of weird that would make you not want to sit next to him on the bus. Though so long as you're not catching him on a work day, there's really no evil in him. But opening up to true friendship is difficult for him- he's sick, and doesn't really want to weigh anyone down with his baggage, especially since now it's a good three centuries deep.
When someone does get past his defenses it's pretty much til the end. Support and generosity as only a reformed hillbilly turned artiste could...he'd give the shirt off his back and listen to their every complaint with rapt fascination and care. Of course then he opens his mouth to help...and that typically makes him seem like an insensitive prick much to his chagrin. He generally means well, but no one quite knows how the road to hell is paved quite like Ben.
This one is more complicated. Now, Ben doesn't mean anything personal about his line of work, he's very, very good at what he does, though he takes no passion or pleasure out of it. Which is probably more offensive in the long run. He tortures people, sometimes kills them, often both..and has been doing it for a long, long time. Long before he joined the Calpulli. So could there be loose ends? Absolutely. Maybe a survivor, a child, a lover...whatever. Of course, Ben has also moved up and down the West Coast a few times, either way he's ambivalent to any retribution that may, or may not come his way. Accepting of it really. If it's his time to go and someone does him in because of a slight he committed? So be it.
Perhaps more noteworthy, Ben has a pretty strong hate-on for anything in a white coat. Mostly he'll avoid the whole lot- hospitals, labs, vet clinics, dentists, what have you. But if restrained or forced into the situation he'll pretty much flip out...and I think meeting someone of that profession out of context might make him just a little anxious. It's illogical, and he knows that, but...is what it is.
Love is the only truth left out there in the world. Screw death and taxes...he's dodged both of those lifetimes ago. He'd like to think and hope, and maybe even pray that there's someone out there for him- someone who could look past his checkered years and his eccentricity and see someone of worth. Ben is also honest enough with himself and bitter enough to know that it's not going to happen, if not for the fact that no one could ever be that accepting...he'd just cock it up anyways, some how or another.
This is not to say he doesn't fall for someone from time to time, he's romantic by nature...he sees beauty in everything- albeit sometimes in the grotesque, which can equate to terrible people behaving terribly or even looking terrible. But, he doesn't really act upon any of his infatuation, as awkward as he is with trying to express himself at the best of times he doesn't bother so the object of his passing fancy is often none the wiser and the subject for many pieces of Ben's art.
Whoo! Congratulations on having your character accepted! We can't wait to see what they have in store for us. Be sure to post to any and all claims which you can see listed below. Welcome to Ferocious!
Amelia is a little darling but due to a curse on her entire witch line, she is cursed with an inner darkness that is capable of taking over her and changing her personality dramatically, she blacks out during those times and doesn't remember it later. You can meet up with one or the other, I don't mind. I'm up for anything!
Well far be it for Ben to argue with anyone else's inner darkness, he's a high functioning schizophrenic and while he's actually pretty mundane off the clock he does have some terrible thoughts from time to time. He's a sassy little shit no matter what- whether or not the two of them find trouble together I don't know...he's usually actually a tech guy. But i'm open to anything!
I'm going to preface this with: I am more than fine with just establishing some sort of relationship, and not actually starting a thread right away, if ever with these two specific characters. I just like making sure to tag everyone, give options, and plan out potential backgrounds. No pressure.
I am genuinely interested in trying how to figure these two interacting. At current, I'm blank on a gate to let that happen, but in general, I'm just absolutely down for any sort of interaction. I mean, first and foremost, they seem oddly similar - but, with their differences. Their draw would clearly be art, I figure. Maybe he has a few pieces on at their gallery - if that might interest you at all.
@Ghost It would have to be something like a gallery opening or the like...Ben is surprisingly shy when he's not 'on the job'- just a quiet sort that stays at home painting or watching garbage television. Heck, if you really wanted if Jonah and he had an appointment (that Ben is probably inclined to miss because he doesn't do time very well) maybe he'd even have to visit his home/studio...which I'm sure is a mess of eccentric things.
Either way, I'm down...I only have one Ben thread right now, but trying to nail down a good concept for a thread is a must, or Ben just wanders off he's terrible that way.
To be horribly frank, I spent a good two full days looking for emoji's on this board during the hunt, which, don't get me wrong was FANTASTIC, but it gave me a really great lay of the land. I think I've seen Ben's app a few hundred times (because I suck at hide-and-seek) and each time I mentally thought, this guy's interesting, hit this one up. SO HERE I AM.
There is something definitely enigmatic about Ben that I think Victoria would love. There is something in wallflowers that Victoria is drawn to, that there is usually hidden potential that should definitely be used, exploited, encouraged. They both have a knack for technology and a dodgy past that may be better left untouched but will no doubt surface one day. Who knows, maybe Victoria can stir up some drama ruffle some feathers. If anything, I think they'd be fun to thread together!
@Franny Anyways, now that I've got some time to breathe...I am absolutely down for a thread between Victoria and Ben, he's not exactly guileless, but lets be honest...his past seems to dictate that he's no stranger to being used. It's kind of his sad little lot in life. However, no matter what anyone has told you about his behavior with say...Connor, he's actually a much more reserved and polite person with women, and you know proper society.
I'm always down for trying to figure something out for the two, and if you want one of my IMs, give me a poke and I'll hand it over. So far I'm thinking maybe they're part of a similar webgroup and have started communicating that way? He's been in the city itself for maybe a year or two. So they might just be aware of one another as simply vampires, but I'm not sure how far the structure works.
Also yay, someone thinks Ben is interesting! This gives me life ^^